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Chapter 2 Letter to mama

4/3/2017

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Each chapter starts with a letter to my mama about that time period. Here is a sneak peek about chapter 2 of the book, I hope you like it. ~ Nona

Dear Mama
For years I’ve been struggling  with whether or not I should be sharing our story. Even though I've given myself permission I'm still fearful of the consequences. I’ve been protecting you from yourself as far back as I can remember but always feeling like an outsider when it came to your life. The world you tried building with dad was going to inevitably crumble and your love wasn’t going to be enough to hold it together and raise me at the same time. I can’t imagine how scared you must have felt dealing with your illness while pregnant with me and choosing to raise me alone and on your own. I wonder if this is where you began to lie to protect yourself from the things you couldn't control? Since you've never told me the truth, I’ve had to figure it out on my own.
I can't tell you how strange  it is having strangers tell me how amazed they are to see me as an adult, healthy and capable. I mean, what the fuck?! What did it look like to THESE outsider’s that they felt compelled to be so amazed that I'm still alive!? I mean I wouldn’t wish the first 19 year of my life on anyone but I also wouldn’t change a thing because I love the person I am today and I wouldn’t be this person without you. 
I am blessed to have shared a magical relationship with you, deeper then I have ever experienced with anyone else. I wasn't just your daughter, I was a confidant, a mothers’ mother, a secret- keeper and, sometimes, a little girl. I was allowed to live free and grow with a vivid imagination and a pure heart. I know now my purpose in life is bigger then just being your daughter and I’ve surrendered to the lies. The lies that mapped the beginning and middle and still make mud for me today. 
But through this I’ve learned how to trust my heart and how to trust others. 
With that said, the shit wasn’t easy. ~ Nona


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    Lolita's Daughter

    Memoir

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    Born and raised in Los Angeles, Nona’s life began as a fairytale. She was the daughter of a famous actress Sue Lyon (Lolita), and NFL player (Roland Harrison). Her father was absent for most of her childhood, and being a bi-racial child, she had questions at a very early age about why she looked so different.

    By age 12, Sue remarried, and her relationship with her mother was never the same. Nona was kicked out of her house and by the age of 13 she was taken to a halfway house. That same year her mother placed her in an insane asylum where she stayed for almost 3 months. That kind of betrayal by her mother, a woman she once idolized, broke Nona’s spirit in a way which would take years to recover from. The author currently lives in Los Angeles…

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    ~ Nona Harrison Gomez

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