Chapter 2 Letter to mama

Each chapter starts with a letter to my mama about that time period. Here is a sneak peek about chapter 2 of the book, I hope you like it. ~ Nona

Dear Mama
For years I’ve been struggling  with whether or not I should be sharing our story. Even though I've given myself permission I'm still fearful of the consequences. I’ve been protecting you from yourself as far back as I can remember but always feeling like an outsider when it came to your life. The world you tried building with dad was going to inevitably crumble and your love wasn’t going to be enough to hold it together and raise me at the same time. I can’t imagine how scared you must have felt dealing with your illness while pregnant with me and choosing to raise me alone and on your own. I wonder if this is where you began to lie to protect yourself from the things you couldn't control? Since you've never told me the truth, I’ve had to figure it out on my own.
I can't tell you how strange  it is having strangers tell me how amazed they are to see me as an adult, healthy and capable. I mean, what the fuck?! What did it look like to THESE outsider’s that they felt compelled to be so amazed that I'm still alive!? I mean I wouldn’t wish the first 19 year of my life on anyone but I also wouldn’t change a thing because I love the person I am today and I wouldn’t be this person without you. 
I am blessed to have shared a magical relationship with you, deeper then I have ever experienced with anyone else. I wasn't just your daughter, I was a confidant, a mothers’ mother, a secret- keeper and, sometimes, a little girl. I was allowed to live free and grow with a vivid imagination and a pure heart. I know now my purpose in life is bigger then just being your daughter and I’ve surrendered to the lies. The lies that mapped the beginning and middle and still make mud for me today. 
But through this I’ve learned how to trust my heart and how to trust others. 
With that said, the shit wasn’t easy. ~ Nona

"All content is my property and cannot be used or reprinted without Nona Harrison permission."