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Chapter 5

7/21/2015

4 Comments

 
I decided to start each chapter of my book with a letter to my mother.  Until now, I was never able to share my side of the story. Some are very lovely letters and others, are not…



Dear Mom,
I was living out some sort of Medieval play of “the kid’s crazy and we are doing the best we can” when you decided to put me in a mental institution. What the fuck!  You put your only child in a mental hospital because you decided to not be a parent  You know what happened to me?  During those months after my 13th birthday, I learned how to create my “own” secret place, where I could shut out the whole world, and that’s exactly what I did.  I went somewhere so deep inside I almost wasn’t able to come back out.  There’s a part of me - I don’t even know any more because of this time in my life - I grew close to loneliness, sorrow and not knowing if there was any hope.  Because you isolated us from the rest of the world, I didn’t even know I could’ve asked the family for help.  I just kept all my fear of what was happening inside of me, to the point of where it festered into shame. That’s what I had to do to keep my head straight.  No time to cry - I had to stay still and wait for the next big punch!  It’s hard to talk about this time of my life.  I have so much memory of pain and there was no light at the end of my tunnel.  I had no idea what my outcome was going to look like.  There have been two times in my life when you pushed me so far that I was ready to give up on myself, this was the first one…






4 Comments
Lori charles-roberts
7/21/2015 08:53:29 pm

Nona, bless you!! I also have struggled in my life to find peace within myself...to be accepting of myself as i am...to let go of wanting to meet everyone's expectations of me. Through you i can see that it can happen. So, i wish blessings of continued joy and peace for your life!

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ivy edinger
7/29/2015 04:11:21 pm

Nona, don't allow this terrible past break you. You are strong and what does not kill you it may only make you stronger. I am happy that you are on the way to find peace with yourself. Past is far away and with every second, every day and month is becoming more and more far away. I know I had some terrible experiences with my mother and myself and I ended in institution, not so closed like yours, but I was on the brink of my mind, I almost lost it. I was there about 7 days. Eventually I grew up and started to live with myself. I just had to. God bless you.

Reply
Nona Truth Seeker
7/30/2015 09:05:47 am

Ivy, Thank you for your concern. I have for a while now and will always be in a loving peaceful place with my life. This letter is part of my memoir I am writing, a chapter from my life a long time ago.

ivy edinger
7/30/2015 05:50:18 pm

Thanks, I am waiting to read your memoir. Everything in life is happening with reason, and worst things we experienced are helping us to become better persons and appreciate every single beautiful thing in life.You are true angel and you deserve best. Love xoxoxoxo




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    Lolita's Daughter

    Memoir

    Picture
    Born and raised in Los Angeles, Nona’s life began as a fairytale. She was the daughter of a famous actress Sue Lyon (Lolita), and NFL player (Roland Harrison). Her father was absent for most of her childhood, and being a bi-racial child, she had questions at a very early age about why she looked so different.

    By age 12, Sue remarried, and her relationship with her mother was never the same. Nona was kicked out of her house and by the age of 13 she was taken to a halfway house. That same year her mother placed her in an insane asylum where she stayed for almost 3 months. That kind of betrayal by her mother, a woman she once idolized, broke Nona’s spirit in a way which would take years to recover from. The author currently lives in Los Angeles…

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  • Nona
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